


Withdrawal

by daalny



Series: Vices [1]
Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daalny/pseuds/daalny





	Withdrawal

The surgeon had expertly sliced his eardrum so he could fly to Russia however; the surgeon had also found elevated blood pressure and a rattle in his lungs. It was most likely an upper respiratory infection, no doubt since he had had a cold for over a month. While Jeremy had no extended higher education he knew from body language the disapproval from the doctor over his lifestyle. He knew, everyone knew that he smoked and drank. What wasn’t commonly known was his insomnia, which he battled with caffeine lots of caffeine. Besides if he did sleep he would miss out on something. When the flight attendant asked what he would like for a beverage he answered with “coffee” his seatmate didn’t bat an eyebrow. The two were flying to Russia for a TopGear event. James wouldn’t be going, a week ago he had tripped over his dog Dodger and had tumbled down his stairs. He had cracked his sternum and a good number of ribs. There was no way he could manage a flight. In fact during the last taping he had sat quietly on the bench/sofa clad in a floral shirt and bundled in a cardigan. His lines had been truncated due to his injury but even with this provision he was still in great pain. 

Richard and himself had signaled a stop a handful of time for James’ face was pinched. They gave him time to recover and stand if he needed then carried on. Jeremy took over James’ segment and rose to introduce the car in fact that is all he did, no sarcasm, no pontification just a simple intro. When the plane began its descent Jeremy bit his cheek to stifle a moan, the pressure was causing pain. He reached into his messenger bag and took two of the pills the doctor had told him to take three hours ago. 

Due to the stress, surgery and pills Jeremy had enough of his bodies own chemicals coursing through him to keep him on his feet. He asked his Russian hosts for a steady stream of coffee and they were most obliging. The event went well and soon the airport loomed again. Jeremy didn’t remember much about his drive home or falling onto his bed. When he awoke in the morning his head felt less clogged and he could hear the ticking of his watch. His feelings of victory were quickly quelled when he looked at his pillow, during the night his ear must have drained and there was fluid all over the pillowcase. “God” he muttered as he stripped off the pillowcase and tossed it into a corner. On impulse he stripped the rest of the bed, instead of washing it he trudged outside and threw it in the bin. The sheets were well gone past the point of saving. He should have thrown them out eons ago but he hadn’t. After Francie had left she had taken nearly everything. Clarkson didn’t consider himself a sentimental man but there had to be a reason for him to be keeping the sheets. The disposal of the sheets gave him no vindication or satisfaction he felt just as stripped as his bed and a tad clueless. He knew he would have to buy new sheets but wasn’t in the mood. “Fuck it” he whispered to no one.

The three presenters were cloistered in their green room; Jeremy was trying to avoid the coffee machine. He had made an agreement with himself after he had thrown out his sheets. He was going to eliminate his crutches. Richard noticed that his co-presenter was more irritable but brushed it off as jet lag from Russia. Today was a rehearsal for an upcoming taping. The hangar was freezing and James pulled his cardigan closer to him. His rib injury precluded him from lifting his arms over his head so his jumpers were out. The crew had teased him for his granddad cardy. That didn’t bother him what did give him pause was Jeremy he had abandoned his coat. James moved closer and just watched. Jeremy’s hand kept touching his forehead. While it was a common gesture for the man the rate at which he was swiping his forehead and knuckling his eyes had James alerted. 

James’ new level of alertness had him checking on Jeremy in the lavatory. He found the man huddled over a basin washing his face. “Jeremy, what’s the matter?” he asked quietly.

“Sick” Jeremy muttered back.

“Pick something up in Mother Russia?” James asked.

“Opposite.”

James got some paper towel and gave it to Jeremy so he could dry himself and he waited for his friend to explain. Jeremy wiped his face and leaned on the counter, “The surgeon who cut my ear was moaning about my blood pressure and other things. I’m cutting out stimulants starting with caffeine.”

James’ eyebrows climbed up to his hairline, “Cold turkey?”

Jeremy shrugged.

James exploded, “Jesus! You can’t do that, no wonder you’re running around with no coat and looking paranoid.”

Jeremy shrugged again, “James it’s not heroin.”

“You’re in withdrawal! Your body has become dependent on caffeine and the amount you drink…how is your head?” James asked tilting his head to get a better look at Jeremy.

“Train wreck” Clarkson muttered.

“Stay here for a tic” And with that James left the lavatory. Jeremy peered at his reflection and then looked away. Soon after James was back, “come on we’re leaving.”

Jeremy shot James a look and the longhaired man spoke, “Told Andy you picked up a bug from Russia and I have to go home because I’ve forgotten my painkillers which is actually true.”

Digging his hand in his pocket Jeremy withdrew his keys to which James snorted, “You won’t need those, you’ll be staying with me.” Jeremy sighed signaling his surrender and James led the way to the car park. Clarkson noticed that James was driving one of his automatic transmission vehicles and made a face. 

The look had not gone unnoticed, “Can’t engage the clutch and move the lever with my ribs smarting” he gave as an explanation.

In the car Jeremy began to voice his second thoughts, “You don’t have to babysit me. It’s not like I’m going to rob a TESCO for a RedBull.”

James smirked, “not yet you’re not.”

Once again the taller man uttered, “It’s not heroin.”

James merely took a measured breath through his nose, “No but caffeine is still a drug and withdrawal from anything is painful. How many times have you tried to give up smoking?”

In his seat Jeremy hung his head, James was right he could never seem to kick the nicotine but he felt that James being with him was extreme so he tried logic. “Look just drop me off at my flat. My car is at the offices I can’t go anywhere I’ll just sleep this off.”

“You’ve been a misery guts for the past four months and now you want to stop smoking, drinking and caffeine? Look I just want to know why now, what did the doctor say to you?” Demanded James.

“It’s not anything that dire…well close.”

“Eh?” James interrupted.

“Francie left me. She wants a separation.”

“You’re pulling my leg!” James said in disbelief.

Jeremy threw up his hands, “Four months ago is when she said, ‘I need some space’ and it festered from there. Look, it’s stupid I threw out some bedding yesterday and it flipped something in me and I’m on the wagon.”

James was about to say, “To get her back” but didn’t. They had arrived at his home in Hammersmith. The two lumbered out and went inside, James rummaged around in the kitchen a reappeared with a glass of water and some tablets. “here, take these for your headache.”

“Paracetamol?” Jeremy asked.

“Well I think there is some left over Feminax if you would rather have that.” James said offhand.

The face Jeremy made was all the answer James needed. The two sat and Jeremy told him of the last four months culminating with him stripping his bed down and not having a clue of what sheets to buy. At this James laughed, “Just buy King sized sheets! You could have anything you want…Super Stars of Formula One if you wished.” Jeremy resisted the urge to slap his friend, “I can’t remember if I have a King bed or a California King and I don’t know the difference.”

At this James went into a lecture and Jeremy found that he couldn’t sit still. He also felt a wave of nausea slowing rising in him. The tablets had relieved some of the headache but his body was retaliating with fatigue and his eyeballs felt as if someone had replaced them with a pair of lawn bowls. He knew that a sip of coffee a swig of Red Bull even a rottenly made cup of tea would make all of this disappear. He didn’t know if he made a sound but he felt a weight on his shoulder and saw that it was James’ hand. He looked up at the man and saw in his other hand he held a packet it contained cigarettes. “Come on, we’ll deal with your vices one at a time.”

They moved to the back porch, James had a small back garden with two worn metal chairs surrounding an equally worn metal table adorned with an ashtray. The two lazily smoked while Dodger poked around in the garden. Eventually the dog came over and sniffed Jeremy who petted James’ new animal. “I thought you were more of a cat person?”

James laughed, “I am but I’m not ready for another cat, not after Fusker. Besides I’ve always wanted another dog.”

“Why didn’t you have one before?” Jeremy mumbled around his cigarette.

James exhaled a stream of smoke, “Sarah’s allergic to them.”

Jeremy was mid-drag when James informed him of Sarah. His mind quickly referenced all information on pets and women named Sarah. James’ little sister was named Sarah as was his girlfriend. Yet James’ had said, ‘another dog’ meaning he had had one at a prior point. So one could deduce that there had been another separation.

The logic puzzle that James had provided gave Jeremy some relief from his symptoms but night eventually fell and this had his anxiety rising. He hated nighttime, when everyone was supposed to be asleep he was usually up. This was the time that he wanted caffeine. In his mind it helped the time pass more quickly he was able work on a column or something else the sun seemed to rise faster with a Red Bull in his hand. He felt tired and wired, it was like that monologue in _Trainspotting_ Damn him, James was right! At this moment he would do anything to make this feeling go away. He tried desperately to occupy himself.

Jeremy found himself examining James’ spare bedroom. He had kipped here often enough but never had taken the time to look at it. The room was Spartan yet there were odd touches here and there. This room seemed to double as a library, odd stacks of AutoCar had Jeremy smirking. He knew the story behind James’ dismissal. A shelf was dedicated to sheet music Jeremy could tell by the wear on the paper which pieces James liked to play. 

Ultimately he climbed into bed and fell into a fitful sleep. When he woke he found he had only been asleep for about three quarters of an hour. He retreated to the bathroom. On impulse he grabbed the cup containing James’ toothbrush and toothpaste and dumped the contents of the side of the sink. He spun on the taps, filled the cup and dumped the water over his head. He was feeling worse, he checked his watch it was only a quarter to three. This night/morning was dragging. He found himself in James’ kitchen staring at boxes of Twinings. 

His feet took him to James’ room, pushing open the door he heard that James was asleep he went to go back to his own room when he heard a sharp intake of breath, “Jez?”

“I nearly made a cup of tea.”

James ran a hand through his hair, “Perhaps you should. A gradual decrease might be better for you.”

Jeremy shook his head, “No”

James let out a little breath of annoyance which Jeremy heard and he went to leave. James rapidly asked, “watch a film?”

“I don’t want to go to kitchen, I want to sleep…”

James swung back the covers, “Get in, I may snore but I’ll know if you get up.”

This was true, James had become a light sleeper after all the tent and camping time had spent with Oz Clarke and the other two presenters over the years.

Jeremy took what was offered and climbed into bed and mercifully fell into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
